Doh, are you talking about just me or both of us?

If we both go to a marriage counselor it means that I've told her *why* we're going. My wife would feel very betrayed and ganged up on if I dragged her to a MC without telling her why and then proceeded to blurt out all this pent-up frustration (see long post above for those just arriving).
Going to a MC means we've brought up the "obsession". It would mean we haven't resolved the problem ourselves.

Kathy & Kimmydawn think my wife and I should just sit down and tell all. I want to agree but what I think has often been wrong. I want to make sure.