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sarahsweets · Jan 25, 2019, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Background Noise

I think the relationship between children and parents is a two-way road, and there should be mutual respect and love. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but when parents start to treat their children's mistakes (or what they don't like) with abuse and destructive criticism, what would they expect to happen? Yes, when they are little, the children would stay silent, but this doesn't mean the problem is solved, and they learned their lesson. If anything, this feeds a dormant volcano ready to explode at the right time.

You said "childrens' mistakes". What is it that you think you did that would make abuse acceptable?

Quote:

All my problems with my parents are because how they have spoken with/treated me. They think I don't want to hear the "truth". But there is a difference between telling the truth, and between abusing and criticizing because they think they know the truth, but the actual reason is that they don't like what I say and do, because it's not in accordance with their view and expectations. I think I am an open-minded person, but I have zero tolerance to negative and destructive criticism (with a package of issues to deal with), exactly because I was physically and emotionally abused and criticized constantly as a child. Then I am demanded/ordered by them (and the society/culture) to be respectful to them ONLY because they are my parents!!

It sounds like not only were they abusive to you as a child but they still are abusive to you. You do not have to take that now. You are in charge of your life and only you get to decide who to spend your time with. Respect is earned and they didnt earn it. Would you put up with this from a friend? Then why put up with it from your parents, the very people who are supposed to love you?
Is this a fair request? Do I have to ignore my emotions and feelings for their sake? Should I just forget the past and what they have done to me, especially it still happens to this day? Relationships with parents are very complicated when things don't go right. Walking away isn't easy, and staying is very stressful and triggering.[/QUOTE]