Outside of one friend who doesn’t even live in this state I have no friends. Outside of my boyfriend. And even that is strained.

How do you deal with the mania? The impulsivity? When I get in this manic state I just have all these impulsive anxious thoughts. I want to get in my car and drive until the car runs out of gas. I want to do something impulsive like go to a club and meet a stranger. I get a lot of ideation too.

Is that something mood stabilizers might help with? I am not normally someone who does any of these things but when I feel manic, I feel like I have to do. React. Feel that thrill. Exist in a sea of chaos.