[QUOTE=marvelousness;6414395]

Yes Marvelousness, he was emotionally abusive toward you. I am sorry that happened to you and it was not your fault. I understand that it was painful for a relationship to end. I also think that any relationship with that individual would have ultimately brought more misery into your life.

Abusers are often charming and very loving in the beginning. They are also adept at switching the abuse on and off depending on who's around. It is often at its worst and most apparent when they are alone with their intimate partner.

Did you ever try talking with a therapist? I think that could really help you to work through the feelings and find ways to move forward. I am going to attach a couple of links which may be useful to you. The second one is much shorter if that helps you.

64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do

Dear Abby: Warning Signs of an Abuser

I think the best advice I could give you now is to focus on yourself. What do you need for you? For your body, mind, and spirit? Happiness always begins with the Self. It sounds like you may have low self-esteem...that can lead a person to be unwittingly drawn to harmful partners who enjoy belittling and controlling others. Ever heard of Inner Child theory? Might be worth a look for you.

How about your father? What was he like? How did he treat your mother? Just some ideas for you to think over.

Wishing you peace and hope for a bright future