I just saw Bohemian Rhapsody, the new movie about Queen and Freddie Mercury.

What a great movie, it was really well done. It brought back a lot of memories. I kept thinking about what I was going through at the time and lots was not good.

But that's ok. I'm here now to remember and enjoy what moments I did have. Just like Freddie, enjoying those moments that were nothing short of breath taking even though those moments in between were awful.

In other news, I got permission to use some copyrighted material in my book from the copyright owner. That's a big deal since that content is a major part of my book. It's always nice when I get permission like that - it's really validating that my work means enough to grant that important permission.

I had a really low day the other day and almost had a panic attack. It has been many years since I've had a panic attack. It built up really slowly over about half an hour and happened on a crowded train. It dissolved when my stop came up and I was able to get outside.

Even though I live with my family, I feel very alone. I think it's because I'm often thinking about my life the way it was before when my family was younger, when we were all together. I also feel guilty about that time in my life because I wasn't in contact with my sister or my mother. At least I can make up lost time with my mother now.

I try to practice gratitude every day.

Hugs to everyone that's struggling. Hang on, you have more to say and do in this life.