I think when people have clear opinions, and very specific ones, about what you should do, I could understand how it can feel like you're being attacked and judged. Anytime someone tells me what to do or how to think, I feel the same way.

But I think where people are coming from is out of a desire to protect you from more pain, perhaps we all say things in ways that aren't the most gentle or that allow you the most autonomy to feel and believe and do as you wish. No one wants you to be hurt by your T, and I don't think anyone is mad at all at you. It always takes a certain amount of bravery to put yourself out there in starting a thread and it's great you were willing to do it. I wish you the best, whatever you decide to do. And I hope your relationship with your T is not an abusive one, or doesn't turn out to be.