And does it change how you feel in regards to abandonment?

I chose to post this here instead of a more general forum because I'm curious how many of us BPD folk are adopted.

I am, and it does change how abandoned I feel. My biological parents didn't want me - mother was a drug and alcohol abuser (did both while I was in her apparently) and father was a low-life piece of crap who was just after a one-night stand. Bio grandmother wanted me aborted supposedly, and I wish bio mom had listened. Why give birth to me if you're going to screw me over with drugs and alcohol? I blame her for so much of where I am right now. I'm lucky to not have physical deformities, just mental ones... My adoptive mom has asked me a few times if I've ever wanted to find bio mom and at one point signed us up for a website that could link bio families, including siblings, together. Nothing ever came of it though. Out of curiosity I would like to know if she ever got clean and turned into a good person, and I'm also curious the family medical history. I know both last names, no first names. I could find out though if I wanted, but I feel I know enough right now. I'm not ready to know more and may never be. The reason I even know this much is because apparently my bio mom went to the same church as my adoptive parents did at the time and that's how she picked them. It was a big church I guess and since my parents were new to the area they didn't know of my bio mom (adoptive dad was in the Navy so they didn't stay in one place long). My adoptive parents got all of this info from someone in the middle, I think it was the attorney? I don't remember for sure now. It was a closed adoption so technically they shouldn't know this much, but I'm glad they do because it has staved off my curiosity.