I used to be way more laid back in my younger days and as I have gotten older and my mental illness more pronounced I realize that all change is iffy with me, and especially change that I do not like. My routine in the morning is very rigid for no other reason than: I solved my insomnia with my going to bed/wake up routine, I am at my best in the morning, I need the time and space without people up my butt in order to start the day out well. The biggest thing I learned though was "acceptance does not mean approval" sometimes I have to literally say that to myself over and over because having to accept something that I do not like is hard for me. But over time I got better at remembering that I do not control other people, the world doesnt revolve around me and I do not know it all. I do not have to like it but I have to accept it.


I wish I could give you tangible things to make it easier. Honestly through sobriety there were somethings I had to write about in order to let go of resentments and the writing helped me put the uncomfortable stuff down in black and white which took the emotional sting out of it a bit.
An example I can think of would be when my 16 year old had a boyfriend. I knew she was having sex and it was so hard to deal with. I also knew I had to protect her. So I sat her down and told her I knew and that we were going to the gyn for birth control. She was shocked and tried for a hot minute to deny it but the "im not stupid" look on my face stopped that real quick. Did I like her having sex? No way. I thought she was too young and this boy did not seem worthy- but it was her body. I valued the honesty over the discomfort. And me saying no wouldnt stop her. She would do it anyway so my job was to get her birth control and really lay out the importance of disease prevention.