Quote:
Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor
Double-standard.
Fragile ego, explosiveness.
Indeed you dodged a bullet when he broke up with you.
Had you stayed with him, he could have eventually punched YOU.
So to make sure I got it right - something happened and he punched a hole in the wall. He waited for three months and then invited you over to watch how he patched it up with paint and then broke up with you. And he told you that he did not see the two of you together in 50 years and that you did not have a plan for your life and that you were a little lost. But if all of that had been true in his mind, he could have patched the hole in his wall solo, without making you a force spectator - you realize that, right? So he likes drama - it is a very dramatic event to invite your girlfriend to watch and then break up with her, deriding her all the way.
Now imagine that you had broken up with him. Imagine yourself telling him that he does not have a plan for himself, that you do not see the two of you together in 50 years, that he has an explosive temperament, is inconsiderate and disrespectful with strong abusive tendencies, and you do not see him as having a positive impact on your life. And you walk away. Picture it, say it in your mind, and witness how "lost" his face looks when he hears that. How does it feel imagining yourself being in control as opposed to being on the receiving end of his decision to break up with you?
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This shed a lot of light on it. I have spent so long confused. At the beginning I was absolutely convinced the whole breakup was my fault. That if I only opened up when he told me too, If I only trusted him enough to be emotionally vulnerable that things would be different. I beat myself up for long over it. But I knew there must have been a reason I felt so much resentment. He told me he didn’t want to marry the first woman he fell for, like his father did, and have it not work out. I tried to give him reasonable ultimatums and try to make the relationship work but he just kept coming to up with more excuses to why were weren’t right for each other, most of them being I didn’t do this or that. He wanted me to send him a nude because we had not seen each other in a couple months and I told him I wasn’t quite comfortable doing that. His exact words were “other guys girlfriends send them nudes. I’d think we’d be far enough in our relationship for that to be acceptable”. Not when it’s something I’m uncomfortable with? yeah. But somehow I loved him so much that it still affects me and I’m still trying to move on from it. He’s had 2 girlfriends since and I haven’t had anyone. I know I need to just get myself out there and let it go. I’ll try my best to.