I’ve been abandoned by all my family which I deserve. I have two friends. I’ve tried making other friends. After a while they stop talking to me. I read some literature on what are called personality disorders. The literature says people with some of these disorders are overly dependent on their friends and have little to offer and are failures. This only confirms what the abusers in my life told me. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be alive. I also have severe depression which is my fault too. Medication does not help. Therapy hasn’t helped. I don’t think it’s possible to transform this life which has been branded a failure, including by experts I paid for.