I'm so sorry, mountainstream You don't deserve to be abandoned. Nobody does. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Just know that you're not a failure and none of this is your fault. You didn't ask for it. Please don't give up. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that they can get better. Try to hang on. I believe in you. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Keep writing here if it helps. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you