There is no shame at all. It's more like a knowledge and empathy of and for others - and more of a haze of and for yourself bc you were never able to fully grow your own personality as a child for whatever reason .. abuse, neglect, severe tradgedy, etc; you had to focus on survival of your circumstances, you could not focus on maturing as you should have. So not that you are an adult - you only have a partial form of what is you .. and try to fill in the blank with what is everyone else. It's hard to discover who you are if you don't have any clue how to figure that out but it's easy to fall back on what you know - how to blend in ... and take it one step further, and actually incorporate it into our lives. I hope that kind of clarifies it for you.