Interesting post Mote of Soul. I don't see any comparison between telling someone it's not their business to ask about an ex-spouse versus calling someone fat or saying nobody likes them. I don't think you're comparing like with like there.

In the case of Ruby's boss, he set a boundary about info he did not wish to share. He has a right to do that. I see no need for him to apologize. In the case of someone calling somebody fat or suggesting they are not liked by anyone, that is cruel behavior and definitely warrants an apology.

I think it's important to draw distinctions between direct (or even terse) boundary-setting versus cruel comments. To conflate the two sets a person up for a lot of confusion and possibly feeling victimized when they are not actually being targeted.

Did I miss something...I don't always read an entire thread. Was there a post from Ruby whereby her boss called her fat or told her nobody likes her? I'm so sorry if that happened. I was only responding to a post where he said it wasn't her business to ask about his ex...which it isn't. He didn't choose the most gracious way to draw the line but I don't think people are always at their most gracious when they feel offended or when their privacy boundaries are being violated. Though as I said, I think we all know that was not Ruby's intention.

I was not suggesting that everything factual should be voiced. That seems obvious to me. Though some facts ("it's not your business") are fair game. I can tell you that I used the same phrase in response to a prying person who asked what my salary is. I didn't feel badly about that...I was stunned by the inappropriate question. And I saw no need to apologize.

Peace to all