I can relate to much of what you are saying. I have CPTSD and Autism just to keep things interesting. I have worked with a lot of therapists and in a lot of different modalities... all a useless waste of time and money. I now have a new T I think will help but after twenty+ years of searching I can say they are hard to find.
The #1 biggest help for me was one person. That one person I was terrified to get close to (like everyone else) but who haunted me because I wanted to know them SO bad. After a night of sobbing, screaming, throwing up, shaking, pacing... you name the anxious behavior... that next day I stumbled to their office falling several times because I was so scared. I told him I had a hard life and was afraid of him but I didn’t want to be. Then I ran back to my room and hid for three days sicker than I have ever been in my life. A week later I ran into him and he gave me my space but smiled gently and waited until I was my normal level of anxious. Then we got through it together. Once he was ok then there was a second... 18 years later I think I am up to a whopping 5 people including ones I haven’t seen in 10+years but keep them on the roster to keep my spirits up.