Thread: Family
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Old Jan 26, 2019, 05:07 PM
Anonymous57363
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pandabear0927 View Post
Not sure exactly where this post should go but... how do you go about being forced to associate with toxic family members? I get anxiety about going to eat.. going to social events with my family.. yet if i dont go they like to play victim listing things theyve done for me as a child all while ignoring the damaging things.... they criticize my opinion about everything.. my style... my hobbies... my everything.. say blatantly ignorant and rude things without a second thought and if i confront them , somehow I’m wrong. If i completely cut them off they get pissed and carry on... I’m just not sure what to do...
Hi PandaBear. Your family sounds very much like mine. The currencies in my family are guilt and shame...people are expected to dish it out or receive it. I refuse to participate in that dynamic so they have deemed me "cold" "selfish" "evil" and "not knowing how to be part of a family." I recommend talking with an experienced psychologist if you're open to it. Family problems can be some of the most confusing and painful...for me anyway. I honestly feel like I can't win. In the psych community, they don't seem to favor a complete cut-off (based on my therapy experience and reading of the research) as I think they worry that this can be a deep emotional burden on the person who needed the distance. I don't know...they seem to encourage some sort of middle ground if safely possible.

I would support you in whatever option you choose for your own safety and well-being. I haven't yet found the right path through it for myself. Currently I am physically far away from mine but I walk an emotional tightrope even just with responding to their phone calls and texts/email. I took a break from therapy but I know I need to go back for some more ideas and support.

Please remember that you deserve peace, unconditional love, and respect whether your family provides it or not. Their nasty interactions are a reflection of their character flaws, NOT of your worth or value.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky