Look - something in you selected quite a Marvelous username - you cannot be that boring, can you?

And you did perceive warning signs in the relationship with the abusive man - you just distrusted yourself and did not respond to the clues, but you did perceive them, did feel resentment, which is all very good news. You just need to learn to listen to your gut feeling and, as you say, learn about yourself and your likes and dislikes, starting on a very basic and mundane level (food? clothes?), moving to literature and arts, and only then, people.