I normally am one to stay far away from sharing war-stories as I usually don't think that they contribute much in the way of healing and instead lead to inaccurate daydreaming which is everything but helpful.

But, for the sake of healing and for being honest about where we were and where we want to be (plus, I can't argue with the entertainment value of it all), I want to create a post to discuss our past (or current) relapse stories. Hopefully, this will work as a strong reminder to stay clear-headed and focus on what matters most; Our Recovery, the promises to ourselves, and the hear and now.

My last one truly was a bottom for me. I had started injecting fentanyl-laced heroin that no longer got me high, it would just keep me well for a few hours. I was taking literally anything anyone would offer me. This led me to a pretty serious crack addiction. I had Hepatitis-C and could hardly keep down any food at all. I was so sick and my liver was failing. I spent more time at a shady dirty crack house in the hood than I did at home with my beautiful wife. I did this every single day. I thought about ending my life, as this was no way to live. My wife didn't trust me... Hell, I didn't trust me. I spent everything we earned on the daily management of my addiction. It was a personal hell for me I hope never to return to and wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

One night I was laying there in withdrawals and I realized I can either die, or I can do something about this. The next morning I got up at 3:30am to go wait in line at a recovery clinic that offered public grant assisted MAT (medication-assisted treatment), mental health support, personal therapy, group therapy, and as much support as you could imagine. By 1:00 that day I was receiving help for my addiction as well as my mental and physical health. I truly believe this was one of the best decisions I ever made. They saved my life that day. Because of this support system, I haven't picked up since and I owe my life to a power much greater than myself.

If anyone feels they would benefit by sharing their story, I would love to hear it. It felt going sharing my story and I appreciate you taking the time to read it.