Wow Stellack it's great that you are here. I understand the whole shame and guilt thing but also my brain can know that those feelings do more damage so I try to believe what the lovely people here tell me as well as my T. It is a relatively safe thing for you to learn about sharing your feelings here. Heck, the other day I felt like I was reviewing my life etc. The really funny thing about coming here and hearing other people is that we realize we are really not that special after all. We think we are the only ones with certain thoughts and feelings and that we are odd or so ill or whatever and then someone else says the same feeling and it gets normalized for us. That is probably the singlemost healing event that I find here. Hope this makes sense and I hope you keep sharing.