Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123
The logical part of me is trying to understand what’s going on and I found this quote which I think explains pretty much exactly what he’s doing:
“The good-enough mother...starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant's needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant's growing ability to deal with her failure.” (Winnicott, 1953)
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With stopping emails, your emotions are drawn out to work through in session with your T. This is how it's supposed to work in the therapy you are doing.
You hit on something here-you can't rationalize the why's. The therapy has a way of ending this intellectualizing which takes you out of that world and into your emotional side which, if you were always 'good', likely isn't well connected to yourself and expressed in the world. Your intellect has been overcompensating, and your T is helping you to express it and get to know yourself better; be more like yourself. Unfortunately, the intellectualizing is a defense and through this process it dissolves and leaves you with many painful or uncomfortable feelings.
I don't think you are being irrational; it's a normal response to having a need withheld, and a reaction just about anyone would have in this type of therapy. It can be difficult to tolerate whether one has attachment issues or not.
Also, your mind changes to tolerate distress (part of ego strength). Your T is referring to fragmentation, I think. Your T will temporarily hold your ego together through containment until yours is strong enough, related to the stuff you are reading in Winnicott.
The key is to go along with it and not fight Seriously. That doesn't mean you hold back anger, quite the opposite. I think you're doing fine.