Ya I could maybe, another person suggested CBT to help too... I just want my mind to stop. I'd happily swap minds with someone else if I could.

I don't think there's anything wrong in wanting to catch up someday but I have to live as thought that may happen rather than it never will, the never is what has caused me this crazy sadness. It's completely like my dog all over again. Only this makes me feel worthless.

I really don't want therapy at all. I am not sure I will ever benefit from it and I know I NEVER want closeness with anyone again, period. So I'd run as fast as I could from anything that felt like that in the future, even with a T. Not sure why anyone would want this in their life but to each their own I guess

I'll keep debating. I just want my T. Everything else is settling and settling depresses me.