I was very attached to my ex-T, S. Then, he left, and I felt like I was dying. Losing S was one of the most excruciating experiences of my life.

I am now very attached to my current T, C. Our attachment is tough for me, because I know that he is not going to be in my life for forever, so I know the pain of losing him/saying goodbye will come someday. However, the attachment is important to me, and I chose to slowly trust and attach to him even knowing I would one day say goodbye.

The attachment brings with it a sense of not being alone. Of being genuinely cared about and cared for and of not bearing my burdens by myself. No human relationship will last for forever. All relationships are a risk. But I don't want to be alone just because I'm so terrified of goodbye.