I just need to accept the facts. I'm not normal. I'm not like everybody else. Because I'm different, I will never be loved or accepted by anybody.

No girl would ever want me. I'm too much of a weirdo. I like tech and games more than people. I'm always too scared to approach women so I avoid them. Even if a girl expresses some kind of interest in me, I am afraid to ask her out because I'm afraid that she will reject me.

The only thing I'm good at is gaming. I have no talents or skills other than being a pro at video games. I have nothing to offer people in the real world. People in online games would beg me to be on their team, but what good does that do me when I'm untouchable in the real world?

All I want is to feel safe. All I want is to not struggle anymore. I just want to be happy and free. I don't want to hurt anybody. I just want to come and go as I please. Yet, I feel so alone in the world. No girl would want me. Nobody ever will ever love me. I'm scared of women. I am scared of them hurting me any more. I'm scared of getting close to a woman, only for her to make me even further trapped and alone.

I escape into my fantasy worlds to avoid how much I hurt but people can't even accept that about me. I am subject to people's judgement and hate because I'm different. I didn't choose to be messed up by my mother. It's not my fault!

IDK why I even bother. I just want to run away from people and their drama and judgements. I function better alone anyways.