i am dreading seeing T this week. He was so obviously delighted with the "better me" that i am mortified to go in like this.

life has been misery all week. Bouts of depression, high anxiety, flashes of things i don't want to think about... i miss my husband terribly at times. i am lonely. Meds are messing me up (not the psych meds).

today was an ok day... not as dramatic as the last few...i was able to drag myself around at least. i am sluggish. i can't even walk very fast. i ate out just to be out someplace.

i have never seen T so content as on friday. i know he is supposed to help me and isn't there for having a great time... but it made me happy to see him happy... who doesn't feel good when they can make their T smile and laugh? How can i go back in like this?

i don't even know what to say to him... "hi T... look how crappy i really am"..... ?