It helped me with the shame and guilt. It felt like a dirty secret. Telling him and having him be non-judgemental and understanding helped. He wasn't disgusted with me like I'd feared.

It also helps him understand what I need from him and how much his words and actions matter. Sometimes I'm angry at him or hurt over things in a way that is objectively an overreaction, or at least a reaction to a distorted interpretation. It would be hard for us to discuss and for him to understand these things if he didn't understand the attachment.

And it allows us to discuss my behavior that is a response to the attachment. My first reaction to a lot of things related to the attachment or being upset over my interpretation of something is to want to SH, and in the past I frequently have. It's better for me if I'm able to discuss it with him and he gets the chance to clarify or tell me that the horrible conclusions I'm telling myself aren't true.