I'm so sorry, DarknessIsMyFriend I know how you feel. Please don't give up. Like Open Eyese has wisely said, just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean it's true - although it can definitely have an effect on your life. You could still be able to find a woman who loves for who you truly are. I know how it feels to be a recluse, but I think you're handling this pretty well. You're still going to school, trying to get an education, and dedicating yourself to the things you love doing - such as gaming. Not to mention your knowledge about IT. I agree with the others about not dropping out of school. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that they can get better. Just try to take care of yourself at the moment. The rest will come later. Try to take some time for yourself. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Keep writing here if it helps. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you