Your most important relationship that you MUST make work is with yourself. I suggest you just put your love and care into yourself for a bit while working on developing skills to form better relationships with others.

It’s a rude awakening to realize others don’t truly feel for you as you wish they did. I’ve just gone through this personally. Yes, we do need to accept the facts that they really didn’t care enough... But... all that is not a reflection on YOU, ie; not your fault.

Can you earn a living doing the gaming thing you speak of?

DBT, and keeping a careful balance of closeness/distance with people is going to help.