I am similar at this point in my life. My H, and I are getting along better now, but he keeps him self busy with projects around the house, so he don't have to deal with any thing else. We don't socialize. My alcoholic brother lives with us, and it is difficult to deal with him daily. I also have a lot of history of being abused for most of my life. My H grew up in a very disfunctional family, and he drank a lot, but has quit now, so we do get along better now. I have had so much trouble last year with T's, and P Doc's that I have been weening my self off the meds, and I am quitting the P Doc's. I am not sure yet if I will keep the T I have. I also am at the point of just letting everything go. At this point I don't know if this is good, or bad for me. I guess only time will tell. Right now I feel as though I am just here, not living, just here. If that makes any sense to you? I have even had a hard time being on here bc I have been so negative for awhile. I am sorry you are having such a hard time, and I do understand.