Thanks for replying. I am getting more and more comfortable with issues and feeling less a stranger to myself. It is good. I think the time will come to share all. It won't be easy, although it should be, I think. It is much easier to put it all out here, where I am more or less "safe". (Although, if you are clever, you can find all kinds of things people have put on the net "anonymously". My daughter-in-law asked me about a bunch of stuff I posted years ago when I was facing a possible diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. She found it with some google searches.)

The internal pressure is easing. It is even to the point where I don't feel it is a crisis anymore. I am still going to keep my therapist appointment to get help organizing just what I want to do with so much new stuff going on. One of the things to discuss is my wife. She is not nearly so self-confident as you sound. I think I may see about taking her with me to the therapist when the time comes to share my secrets.

You, and several other women, have said they were or would be very accepting of their male partner expressing feminine traits. This is so hard to imagine. It seems to me the most men would have a very hard time with their female partner expressing masculinity. But then... my wife has some "manly" traits that I don't really like, but more or less tolerate (bad language, belching, farting, really raggy ill-fitting weekend clothes).

My son has finally reported in from Japan. He is well and very excited and not in jail.

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are