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Originally Posted by Sisabel
I’ve been trying to find a counselor in my area but so far no luck. My insurance coverage for counseling is not very good. I haven’t had good experiences with counseling in the past but I think I should at least try again.
I am really feeling sad. Not sure if I have sunk into a depression or it’s just sadness.
I should probably stay off Facebook. All weekend I kept looking at pictures of happy families... friends getting together...
I have neither.
Hubby is my best friend. We are both estranged from family... history of abuse... we had similar upbringings... we can understand and be supportive of each other. I’m very fortunate that way. But hubby won’t socialize at all. He doesn’t want friendships or a social life and I feel isolated.
I go out a lot on my own to try and meet people and make friends. I don’t have any close friends though. Not really. I always find myself being available to lean on for others but when I need somebody to lean on, they are busy.
I have pulled back from people. I listen to their stories. I try to say nice things. I say very little about myself anymore. When I do share anything about myself, I instantly feel regret. I feel like I am setting myself up for more judgment and more relationship failures when I open up even a little bit to anyone.
Do you ever feel like just giving up and accepting things as they are? Is that giving up or is it acceptance?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777
Right now I feel as though I am just here, not living, just here.
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Sisabel--Sorry you are feeling so down.
I am sorry about your insurance but having gone to therapy, have come to believe that counseling only helps so much. I think people get depressed because of trauma, unmet needs, cognitive dissonance--that kind of thing. A therapist can help you sort out feelings about past trauma then once you do that, I feel like they can't really "fix" anything--though they can listen if there is no one else to or if you are in the middle of a traumatic event, therapy is also good for that too.
But if you know what is wrong and can't seem to change it--therapy is downright depressing! This is where I am at right now in my life. I have no desire to be a broken record anymore.
I stay of FB and come to PC much less. My family is broken. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I am embarrassed and am not trying to work much other than the minimum at my part time job and my upcoming Spring remote job scoring (no interaction with people). One of my depressants is emotional novocaine (as Still Crazy aptly describes it) and the other one gives me just enough of a boost to do what must be done. Yes, for now I have given up and am just accepting things as they are. We are all part of the same club!!
