I just needed to talk about stuff , we didn't do any trauma processing, but we instead tried to connect the dots of the stuff that has come up from the processing.

I have a real issue with men through out my life since being a young teen who have taken advantage of my trust. My old T did it too, and I see a pattern of this and I am trying to figure out what I am doing to cause this if anything.
I showed my T some of my modeling pictures that were taken from my senior pictures and he said I looked like a wholesome hometown girl. I didn't look sexy, in fact I showed him the picture where the photographer wanted me to stick my butt out sitting on this chair to look sexy , and I didn't know how to do that. I was so naive. But my T said I was attractive girl, but it wasn't my fault for the indiscretions of the other men who knew better. But I was a tomboy growing up and I have never felt comfortable with being sexy. Even now, I would rather not draw attention to myself physically. So it was a good session, I see him again on Thurs.

I feel good because I am being proactive in my healing instead of being a "helpless victim" I want to get better, and it is up to me. I have exercised now for 4 days in a row and I feel less anxiety from the PTSD, and my depression has lessoned some. I can actually say I feel good today, and it has been a long time since I have been able to say that.