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Old Jan 28, 2019, 09:23 PM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
I wrote, "Sorry but I don't believe this."

How on earth is this mean? How on earth is this not tactful?

This was short, concise, and to the point conveying exactly what was meant. To have beaten around the bush to play nice-nice clearly wouldn't have been as effective.

My point was valid. It encouraged discussion. Removing it is tantamount to censorship.
I remember seeing one of your simple posts and it might have been the one you are showing here in this post (can't remember the thread and content though tbh). What you may have been doing by just saying "I don't believe this" may have not actually been contributing but more of YOUR judgement call. It really depends on the challenge the OP is sharing. Truth is, you may be making this judgement call when what the OP is describing really did happen. I know for myself I have experienced things in my life that really shocked me, felt unbelievable YET it really did happen. In that case someone deciding to post "I don't believe that" won't help me, could even trigger me depending on what I am sharing that did happen that may have even traumatized me.

It's a challenge in that a lot of the members have been victims and genuinely struggle and may not have the skills to be able to accept the kind of constructive criticism you may consider reasonable. A member could have faced a great deal of criticism to the point where it was really unhealthy for them so that person may be very sensitive to any criticism constructive or otherwise. Also, a member may seem nice, even interacting ok and yet at the same time may actually be struggling with suicidal thoughts. I know that one because I am certain had I acted on my inpulses it would most likely have been a shock where people may have said OMG I had no idea she was struggling so badly.

It's always important to remember that members are all anonymous and we don't see them, what kind of living circumstances they are in and that can be an important part of how in other circumstances where we can "see" more we may react to someone very differently.

Last edited by Open Eyes; Jan 28, 2019 at 09:37 PM.
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