I still get down because I still let my son take advantage of me--I know better but keep on letting it happen.

I have come to believe that my husband is much better at handling him than I am. I get sympathetic because he may be making the some of the choices he has made because of mental illness. It is so hard for me to know how much of his behavior is simply bad behavior verses mental illness. The weather is very cold right now and he is homeless. This is why I am currently enabling his lifestyle of playing video games all of the time and not working!

We both love him very much. I spend way too much of my time worrying about him. I have come to realize--my son is causing a lot of my stress--not my husband. If this wasn't happening with my son, would it be something else? I wonder how much of it all comes from my own problems enforcing boundaries or my own mental illness which is mostly in check right now due to all the drugs I am taking . I recognize my roll in it all and am trying to change the things I am doing wrong. I am lucky that my husband is so sympathetic about how much I struggle over this. I have changed one thing (that I was doing when my son was first kicked out nearly five years ago)--I don't hide when I am helping our son and we talk about the situation much more openly and logically.

The one good thing about the fact that he still comes to me for help is that if he does have a change of heart some day about getting a mental health diagnosis and/or when he does get a job (he gets them on and off but does not stick with them)--I will/do support him with these things.