This session started out with T asking me what went on in the ER room. I explained. I thought I had been triggered by the need to hear that he loves me (since my father never told me this).

But, interestingly, before my session last Thursday, there was an older lady waiting to pay. She was one of my Dr.'s clients. He was so kind to her. (My father was emotionally cruel to my grandmother who had Alzheimer's). I remember thinking how much I loved my T when I saw him acting this way.

He asked me about my feelings from back then and I started telling him about things that had happened (he had heard of most of them). He told me that I was able to tell the story but was unable to see the bubble over other people's heads (I guess like what they were thinking or what they were feeling?). I asked him if most people were able to do this and he basically said yes (with a long explanation).

He then asked me if it would be okay to have another therapist in the room to help us figure out where to go next. He made sure that I knew that he wasn't leaving.

He also asked me about where was the stuffed animal that I took. I told him that I left it at home. He said that he wanted it back. I asked him if it had some kind of sentimental value to it. He then said, "I'm trying to figure out why you want to keep it." I told him that I held it the whole time I was in the ER. He said to bring it next time and we would talk about it. He said that he wanted to explore it a little more but would probably let me have it. He told me that I was more important than an old hippo Oh, he always compliments me so, LOL!

He also told me that before my husband came to pick me up, that I was very child-like which was interesting to me. I had grabbed the hippo and laid down on his couch (which I had never done before). He asked me this question: "The one time you told me that you felt your Dad loved you was one time when you were sick and he took you to the hospital. Is this what you were trying to achieve?"

Wow. What a great hypothesis. I don't know, but it sounds right.

The other therapist is a woman. This should be interesting. I see him on Thursday, but don't know if the new therapist will be there or not. Ughhhhhhhhh. Can't somebody figure me out so I can go on with my life? I guess we'll see . . .