I'm in a situation where my job is overwhelming me now, however, I can't leave and get another one. I need the benefits we have because the health insurance works for me even though I live in a different state than my employer. I can pay the lower premium because of the type of insurance we have. Most places require you to go out of network or only see providers in the state you are insured.

Additionally I need the money. I'm the only one earning money for my family and it's difficult to make ends meet. But my wife can't work right now because of the need to drive the kids to school. My oldest is in college, so my wife drives them at variable times.

I'm definitely depressed. I notice I'm having bad thoughts. I try not to fight them because that just causes more suffering, but it's uncomfortable. The hardest is concentration, which my job requires a lot of it. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing and really should take a break. But on the other side, I'm so far behind, I can't take a break. I also don't have much time available to me because I take a lot of time off here and there. I'm looking into intermittent FMLA now.

Just struggling and need to keep going. Have a presentation to do today so I have to be happy somehow and engaging.