Hugs, Healed...I'm glad you were at least able to get some of your feelings out. I had the same thing happen with ex-MC at one point, where I would start to doubt that each session would happen until we were actually sitting in his office (because he had to cancel so often). And the one time, we even got to his office, and he said he'd have to end after 20 minutes (he didn't charge us). And he'd often be 15 minutes or more late to get us (and seemed to not even bother apologizing after a certain point, which I finally brought up with him). It really affected the therapy.

Maybe you could sort of set a trial period in your head, like "OK I'll give T a month and see how it goes." Or you could try a session with the other T you contacted, see what it feels like? I mean, when I switched to current T, it was only intended to be temporary, but I'm glad I tried that and ended up staying with him. Even if I'd ended up going back to ex-T, seeing him for a couple months still would have been helpful to get a different perspective. So maybe try at least meeting the other T, see what you feel like?