I think I'm just going to stop posting in here. I'm tired of my relationship with my T being judged. This is a really difficult week for me due to stuff my T knows about, and I even told him in the email "Normally, I'd have sat with this until next session, but tomorrow (meaning today) is going to be really difficult for me." I don't see how his supporting me, within his set boundaries, is a bad thing. I'm not calling him or texting him, which he doesn't allow. He's replying within his set boundaries. He's supporting me. Why is that so horrible? Ex-MC had really unclear boundaries. T has made his much more clear. I trust that if I do something that at all crosses those boundaries, he will tell me, and we'll talk about it. Because he's done that before. While ex-MC did not, until the very end. He has told me that if I ever came close to crossing his email boundaries, he would tell me very early on, not at the point where he might want to cut me off or start charging me for all contact. Maybe 6 months ago, I checked in with him to be sure, and he said I'm not anywhere in the vicinity of contacting him too much or crossing those boundaries. With ex-T, and at times ex-M my emails were often literally 10 times the length of what I send to T. I edit myself. I'm explicit in asking for what I need now. There have been numerous times lately when T has said "I figured you'd email after this past session but you didn't." Those times, yeah, I sat with it. I'm better at deciding when reaching out vs. waiting is the better option. (Obsessing about some random comment that he could quickly explain or struggling with something where a few words could help vs. some insight I had or something I'm a bit uncertain about but could just wait on.) And T realizes that. We both feel I've made progress. And that's what matters.