To me, the legality of the sharing (and I do think it was legal under these circumstances) is not the main point. The main point, to me, is what I consider to be the very poor judgment involved in allowing the facilitator to know about and actually hear the OP refer to her using the C word.

You mentioned that the facilitator outranks your T. I wonder if that played a role in T’s decision to share the vm. It shouldn’t have.

It would have been more than ample to simply tell the facilitator that OP was very upset with her. The facilitator should not have asked for the vm, and should have declined to listen to it if offered.