I feel like crying so badly but no tears will come out . my place is a tip . i can't find letters which i need . i need to travel another city soon to see my kids . oh course i want to see them . i miss and love them. But on the other hand i have agoraphobia and im filled with anxiety . sometimes i think it would be better if i was gone from this world but im not going to do that but im so miserable and anxious and overwhelmed . im never good enough for people either . im so lonely too . i don't know why im here . i hate existing like this .
I want to runaway and live in a cave somewhere . i just don't know any more . i wish i could cry . i might get some relief but no tears will come out .