I'm so sorry, Sò leigheas Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're not a waste of space and you're not a lost cause. Let us know what we can do to help you. You deserve to feel better, my friend. You've been through so much, please don't give up. Try to find yourself some distractions if you can. Try to listen to some music. Anything that can help you distract you even for a short while. Just take it one step at the time. Give yourself a day before doing anything. Or even an hour, or less, or more. Take baby steps. You can do this, my friend. I know you can. You're one of the strongest people I know. Never forget that. Don't be afraid to ask for help. We're here for you if you need us. We all love you here. Please remember that. I'm here for you as well. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you