My husband has been struggling with extreme depression for about a year now. He was raised in a household that shamed mental illness so it was a huge struggle to get him to finally agree to see a doctor. I honestly can't imagine overcoming that obstacle during a period of depression. I am proud of him but I'm also struggling next to him and frustrated. The doctor's have experimented with a few depression meds and apparently said that if this current one didn't work that he likely has bipolar. It's clearly not working but his doctor doesn't have any openings for 3 months so we are just stuck waiting for the next attempt.
I don't know how I can make it that long. I personally am a survivor of sexual and physical abuse and neglect from when I was a child so I sometimes find many of his new behaviors to be rather triggering. Sometimes he ignores me for weeks which triggers abandonment issues. Then, in his manic state, he suddenly looks at me like when we first met and I feel relaxed, safe, and loved again. He even apologizes which I put merit into and think "maybe things will go back to normal." It is always crushing though when he falls back into his depression. I feel like I'm the issue and undeserving during my weak moments. I have struggled with depression myself so I have extra sympathy for him on the other end of this. However, I don't know how to support him without sacraficing my own mental health. Do any other spouses/partners have any advise?