Went to work today but felt like **** so I came home. I got a dr note for today and tomorrow so that they won’t yell at me. Not sure if I’ll take off tomorrow though. I probably will since I have to note. And then I seriously, seriously can’t take anymore days. Ever. For the rest of the year. Damn depression screwing everything up.

My therapist suggested I get the happy light to encourage myself to get out of bed in the morning. She also suggested keeping peppermint essential oil near my bed and putting some on my temples and behind my ears as soon as my first alarm goes off. I’m really getting desperate with winter. I can’t stop fixating on it. I can’t stop thinking about how ****** it is and how it’s not going to be better for at least two months. However I must focus on next week. It should be a smidge warmer next week and maybe even sunny one of those warmer days. That would be nice.

I can’t afford a happy light right now so I’m not sure what to do on that account. I already have some peppermint oil so that’s worth a shot. Why not right? Can’t hurt.

My therapist also recommended looking into cbd oil for pain management. Just until I can get the surgery in June. I’m not sure about it. I wouldn’t even know where to go to get it and I wouldn’t want to get it online because it’s unregulated so you can’t tell what you’re getting. I’m not sure. I have a prejudice against marijuana and I know CBD is not marijuana at all but still.