LT, I don't share about the frequency of my outside contact with my T with anybody, not even my spouse, because I think other people would feel that it's excessive and say judgmental things. Actually, I feel ashamed because I think it's excessive most of the time. But my T is totally fine with it (or so she says!). She said that part of my "work" is learning to reach out and to trust that I can rely on people and also to believe that I'm worth asking for these things. So this back-and-forth battle with myself is actually therapy work, and I think she's pleased when I do reach out because it means the healthier side is winning. I have slowly become much more comfortable being vulnerable and asking for support from other people, so I guess she knows what she's talking about.

She also gently asks me sometimes what I feel from her when I contact her. Does she seem angry or annoyed? When she says she wants to be there for me, does she seem to mean it? I find that helpful, to examine what's actually happening between us, rather than what I fear is happening or will happen.

So I can totally relate to feeling sensitive about the emails. I don't think rugged self-reliance is always the best strategy if there are great costs there. Sometimes I use not reaching out as a way to punish myself for having needs, and that's not so good either.

Anyway, I selfishly hope you keep posting, but that's just because I like your posts and all the In Session posts. I hope for your sake you do whatever feels best to you.