Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainstream
I知 a lost cause. I知 beyond help. I知 weak. I知 ugly. I知 not good enough. I知 not good at anything. Nothing helps. Medications do not help. I have had multiple medication trials. And I feel worse than ever. I am sicker than ever. And this is all my fault. I知 not worthy. I知 told that I should take medications. I should be able to manage without medications and without any support. I hate myself. I知 a failure. This makes me worthless.
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" I should be able to manage without medications and without any support. "
The first think I thought when I read this phrase was that you deserve to be happy (live in peace, harmony), everyone does.
I can understand your feelings, I feel the same. I hate to take medications, it makes me feel weak too, but the reality is that if I don't take the right one, I cannot work/study for long and I stay in bed 24h a day. When I take them I don't feel OK, but I am functioning enough to do something and feel less worthless. I tried different medications for around 6 years until I found a combination of three that more or less seem to do something.
Is there anything that may make you feel better?
I have found helping others make me feel less horrible, so I have a reason to stay in this world and try my best.
__________________
Crazy, inside and aside
Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions
"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-