This is a dilemma I've always had. Everyone around me (including the professionals) seems to perceive me as being completely normal. So, on the one hand, I never got any real help. And on the other if I did anything or said anything atypical, I was met with judgement & disapproval for just being "difficult".

It has occurred to me a few times that if I ran down the street naked & screaming, perhaps I'd get some real help... but then maybe not too. However, since I'm not about to do that, I'm just not going to get anything in the way of real mental health treatment. Consequently, I've just left the whole mental health system behind & decided people just have to put up with me the way I am.

I wish I knew what to suggest to you that would help... maybe try seeing a different pdoc if that's a possibility for you? I do hope that, in some way, you are able to find the treatment you need & deserve. Perhaps other members will have some useful suggestions.