What you guys said makes sense.

@LMo, there are a lot of different personalities working together here, and you touched on each one. I could see some kinds of attachments or jealousy or general disgust developing, but somehow I don't see it as being unpredictable or out-of-hand.

Let me explain a little. At this point, I think it'll be easier to give them pseudonyms, since I'm going to mention all three of them. I'll just refer to Anne, my girl friend, Ben, the one who couldn't get it up, and Jack, the one who set limits on himself.

Anne always wants to cuddle. Usually with me, surprisingly, since I'm the only "un-cuddly" one in the bunch. She gets whiney whenever Ben is cuddling with me. I'm pretty sure he only does that to get a reaction out of her, but there's potential for his attachment to me. Even if he's got his arm around her, he's looking at and talking to me.

Things between me and him have pretty much always been mutual, even during the whole evolution of our friendship. I don't really worry about him. We tend to think similarly, so even if he gets attached, the same thing will probably happen on my end. We'd make a good couple, if we had any love for each other. He's more practical than romantic, like me.

I'm not sure if Anne would get jealous from this. Especially since a boy already stole another friend's attention away from her. And I'm not sure who she'd be jealous of, him or me. But I'm sure there would be no reason for her jealousy. We've been friends through thick and thin, and I'd work really hard to help her if I had to.

The friend I haven't talked about as much yet, Jack, left the room at one point and told Anne, "I can't look at any of you the same way anymore." I don't know what happened, but it didn't take long before he came back upstairs and participated (though his limits were as rigid as before) like nothing happened.

I wonder if this was just a fear, like it was for me at one point. I thought, what if I can't look at him without seeing his penis? But I quickly realized this wasn't the case. These were the same boys I had always known.

(In fact, I think I rather liked seeing Ben especially in this new light. I have only ever known one side of him, so it was very fresh to see a different facet. It gives him more depth, I think.)

So it's not a huge worry of mine that the relationships could change. I considered it beforehand. I'm a flexible person. I think I'll be able to roll with the punches.

@salukigirl: I can totally relate to the triggering you're talking about. I really don't like kisses because of a kiss that happened in my past. That's the one thing that people can dare me to do that WILL make me uncomfortable. I don't like the intimate, personal aspect of it.

But still, I don't think I could be in your position. For one, I doubt I'll ever really have a boyfriend BECAUSE I separate love and sex. And I certainly wouldn't ask anyone to put up with me if it was hard for them to deal with all my "baggage," so to speak. I wouldn't be able to put them through that.

I can't say I've considered my future love/sex life because I'm pretty sure there won't be much of one. The irony was that before this, I was on the track to being totally innocent all the way to the grave. Not because it was my will, but because no one else was enabling me. But I can probably still get through life without love. I don't really have a need for it, and I don't trust myself with it.

I have to just hope that Ben and Jack don't fall in love with me.

@alexandra k, very good point about guilt and humans. I know exactly what you mean about bonobos.

Fluid transfer... really didn't happen. We were inhibited a bit because I was on my period, and Anne just had her wisdom teeth out, so she had open wounds. We were careful. We believe.

The atmosphere you're talking about is something I was definitely paying attention to. What we did was based on trust. Everyone seemed comfortable, although Jack was comfortable with a stricter limit. But that was okay. We wanted everyone to feel comfortable and trusting of one another.

And I'm not sure what to do about poor Ben exactly. Of course I had to tease him just a little bit once, but I wouldn't bring it up again. If this sort of situation comes up again, I suppose I'll give him a second chance...? I don't know if he'd appreciate that or not. He seemed totally fine with things. So maybe it was a fluke.