Hi mountainstream. Whatever literature has stated that you 'should not be helped' and that 'you can not benefit from help', that you're 'drowning in self pity', please take that literature and either set it on fire to keep warm or use it as toilet paper because that's all it's good for. Only listen to and read things that are positive and are trying to empower you please, because that's a sign that it's coming from the right place.

Hang in there please (((mountainstream))). It's a tough path depression, but you can find some sort of peace again. Thanks for sharing as well.