Is it really possible to have "others" that present with no names or no care for names?

How can you detect such a thing if there is no desire to be detected?

Im a little scared that i will not beable to get my life together and succumb to the sad fate of defeat due to ... whatever i am or is happening to me..

Definitely have tried to educate myself on things but its not seeming to help me gain control over my .. inside, me?
I have grown a lot and accomplished a lot of things but its not sustainable it seems..
I lose grip, power, things change, and seems like as i created the success, too am i destroying it

I just want it to stop so i can succeed with my goals...
To get and keep priorities on top...

Then feel like im searching for an excuse, that its all my fault and nothing is wrong with me besides like being stuck in victim role..?

But im trying so hard and want to succeed more than anything so how could i just be lazy or self destructive sabotaging myself?


I wish i knew how to just ignore it, turn it off, so that i can be a robot atleast through work so i can have income and get my own home