Oh Wander, I am so sorry you are suffering so. PLEASE stay safe.
I hope I am not over-stepping to offer a reality check. You are not trapped. I strongly believe you are in the throes of paranoia run amok. Which may be making you feel trapped, but you aren't, so please don't do anything dreadful. Please try to suspend your suspicion and let them help you. They are not there to harm, but to help. You trust us here at PC, don't you? We can assure you that this is true (that they are there to help, not harm). If you do, before too long you'll be able to look back and see it for what it is -- paranoia, not an accurate assessment of the situation.

We wish you only the best. Please consider this, stay safe and get help, ok?