Quote:
Originally Posted by BonsaiGuy
I'll keep this short and sweet...
I love playing billiards, especially this time of year.
I don't have many friends. The thought of making friends gives me incredible anxiety itself not counting my overall social anxiety.
I wanted to join a billiards league and I thought it would be a proactive step in combating these emotions and the friend issue. I had talked to the league manager over the phone and started to get excited.
However, we the time came, I was so tranquilized with fear and so incredibly afraid that I didn't go. I absolutely hate myself for backing out. I am really upset about it. It was my last week to do it and I blew it.
Sometimes I just feel like the punchline of the worst kind of joke...  |
Two steps forward, one step back. At least you tried. You're obviously interested in billiards. I have the same conflict much of the time. I don't like people, I fear them, don't trust them, yet I have interests in certain things that I might like to pursue. Maybe you need to try to make peace with different parts of yourself: the part that wants to reach out, and the part that needs to feel at least somewhat safe.
((((Many hugs)))
