It's hard to say. I'm still not completely over it and I don't know if I'll ever be. But I don't know how things would be different if it hadn't happened. I don't know if being able to be angry in a healthy and safe space and trusting that I'm allowed to be was worth the pain and continuing reservations and doubts. I don't know if I'd trust him more and feel more secure if it hadn't happened.

Mini ruptures and repairs have generally been helpful though, because there's not really long term harm and hurt once we resolve them, unlike with the big thing.